The Hangover  Whammy Style
by whitney321luv
Summary: What happens when Mello Matt and Near wake up in Vegas without any recollection of the previous night, only pictures and 'souvenirs' Join them on their journey through Vegas to find their friend whom the 'lost' during their wild night. :
1. A Proposal Gone Horribly Wrong

Well, I was watching my sisters hockey game when this popped into my mind XD I think it has the potential to be a good story, please bear through this chapter, it was hard to write. But I guarentee the second will have lots of humor. The whole story is based off the movie the hangover, Never quite thought of Near as such a party animal :3

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><p>"Come on Roger! This is a completely legitimate idea!" The blonde smiled, flailing his arms in exaggeration.<p>

"Mello, this is not a good idea. It is stupid, ridiculous, and very dangerous." The old man's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"No! How could you possibly say that?" Mello gasped as if he was hurt by Roger's words. "This is a marvellous idea!"

"Okay Mello, I will give you three minutes to explain how this could possibly benefit you." Roger sat back in his chair and observed the persistent blonde.

"Well…" Mello grabbed his chin as he thought. "You see. When we leave Whammy's House, we will need to be accustomed to different situations. I mean, let's face it, how many criminals have spent their childhoods being pampered, and educated by the worlds best teachers? This will give us some well needed, experience. And it will expose us to a new world. I'm pretty sure L had to learn about these things one way or another. It makes total sense." Mello smiled, quite pleased with his debate.

Roger sat in silence for a few moments. "Hmm. Well, I do suppose experience is important in the field we are preparing for you."

"EXACTLY!" He spun in accomplishment.

"Now you want it to be you and Matt? Okay, you are second and third in line to be L. So I will allow this." Roger stated.

"YES! I Can't believe you l-" Mello's joyful words were soon cut short by Rogers conditions.

"If you bring Near, and BB." He added sharply.

"WHAT! No way! I can't bring them!" Mello pleaded. "They'll take the fun out of everything!"

"Fun? I thought you were doing this for **experience.**" Roger smiled almost evily.

"But! This was supposed to be for me and Matt! I can't bring some albino freak, and sociopath along! If that's the case then forget it." Mello huffed and turned to walk out the door.

"No no, I really do think this is a good idea. I suggest you start packing, and I will make arrangements. "The old man told the blonde.

Mello, who was just outside the door by now, turned sharply to argue with the old man some more. "What! No! I won't go if they're coming! You can't make me-" He was cut off by Rogers quick closing (and locking) of the door.

"FUCK!" was all the old man heard, before angry footsteps walked away. Roger chuckled to himself. This was going to be interesting.

"So how'd it go?" Matt yawned, as he was answered by a slamming door. "That bad? Sucks we can't go." He said casually.

"No. We're going." Mello huffed, to which Matt raised his brow.

"Oh? Well then, why are you so pissed off?"

"Cause!" Mello spat. "we have to, we have to… We have to bring BB and Near." He scowled.

"…Why?" Matts eye lightly twitched. "I can't stand them."

"Because of my brilliant debate. It kinda backfired." The blonde slouched down into a chair.

"Well, can't we just ditch em?" Matt laughed.

"No. Roger would kill us if anything happened to his little Near." Mello said loathingly. "Can't fucking stand that kid."

"When we leaving?" Matt asked.

"Two days." Mello answered normally.

"Well then. We should start packing."

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><p>Chapter 2 will be up hopefully tonight XD Imma work on it... NOW! :D Don't Review Yet! Wait for chapter 2 please XD<p> 


	2. The 'Protected' Boy

Well, I am pretty proud of this chapter XD I laughed many times just imagining the circumstances. For people who are reading this, thank-you :D

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><p>Matt and Mello sat at the doors of Whammys House, duffle bags full of clothes and money at their sides. Matt was having a quick smoke before he got in the car, Mello just relaxing, well, he did have a long drive ahead of him, a good 9 hours minimum. It was about 8:00 am, the two were both very tired. Mello, yawned, and leaned his head on Matts shoulder yawning all the while. Matt simply put out his cigarette, and rested his head on Mello's soft blonde hair. The two waited for 8:30, the time they were supposed to leave.<p>

Near peered out his window at the two 'friends'. "… Those two are too close for comfort." He said quickly, squinting in annoyance. Why did he even have to go on this stupid trip anyways? Stupid Mello, giving Roger crazy ideas. He sighed and looked over at his white backpack that held three days' worth of clothes, a few toys, and his wallet. You know, Near may not get out much, but that doesn't mean he's completely clueless when it comes to this stuff. He was almost ready to go, when he heard an almost worried knock at his door.

He opened it slowely to see Roger holding a smallish bag in his hand. "Roge-" He was cut off as the old man pushed him into his room set the bag by his feet.

"No time, no time for that." Roger said quickly, reaching into his bag and pulling out a bottle of something.

"No time?" Near questioned, as he saw Roger open the bottle and squeeze some tan colored liquid into his hand. "Gah." He let out as the old man began rubbing the stuff all over his face.

"You're barely outside. I don't want you to get sun burnt." He said, covering every inch of the boys face.

"Roger. It's okay, really." Near said trying to pull away.

"Nono, don't want you to get hurt." He said reaching into the bag again, this time pulling out a big sun wicker sun hat.

"Ah, no! If you don't want me to get hurt, don't let me go." He said waving his arms, trying to stop the man from putting the feminine hat on his head.

"Oh nonsense!" Roger exclaimed happily, placing the hat on the annoyed boy, and reaching into the bag again.

Meanwhile Beyond Birthday sat alone in his dark room, trying to make time go slower so he didn't have to bear through the trip with the weird emo (He's one to talk) and the two annoying as fuck faggits. You see, Beyond wasn't shy, not at all, he was just odd. He knew that. He didn't want to have to talk if he didn't have to. He'd much rather sit at home, eating jam and watching the Saw movies. What could he say? Jig Saw was his idol. He loved the way he made the people kill themselves, he's never really killed anyone if you think about it.

"Hmm." The ravenette's crimson eyes lit up as a thought crossed his mind. "Maybe I could make them kill themselves. Oh, wouldn't that be entertaining? He smiled as he thought of the boy's faces twisted in fear and pain. Soon his little dream was over as his alarm sounded, telling him It was time to go. Fuck. He thought as he stretched up. He opened his door and carried his two bags, one slung over his shoulder, the other just held loosely in his hand.

The hallway was relatively quiet, well, except for the loud commotion in Nears room. Beyond Birthday stopped in front of the door briefly, but soon decided it would be best to leave it, and walked outside to join the blonde and red head on the steps. As soon as Mello saw Beyond his head popped up, off of Matts shoulder, and he blushed slightly. "… I'll pull the car up." He said and slipped away.

Matt turned his head and looked over Beyond briefly, he was an odd one. Wild black hair that spiked up, bright red eyes, and wearing jeans and a baggy black long sleeved shirt. He had a unique sense of style, but then again, who was Matt to judge? They all did. He had his fuzzy vest that he absolutely adored, Mello had his black leather, and Near had his silky white pyjamas. Come to think of it, Matt began to hope Near packed something to wear out, something remotely normal.

Mello pulled his black sedan up to the stairs, Matt and Beyond got ready to throw their stuff in. "Sooooooooo, you ready? Got everything?" Matt questioned carefully, he didn't really know Beyond, and he didn't want him to hate him or anything.

"Yeah, I guess." He yawned. "It's only one night. I can handle it." He chuckled lightly. To which Matt nodded.

The two put their bags in the back, and took their seats. Matt sat up front next to Mello, and Beyond and Near had the back.

"Where's Near?" Mello raised an eyebrow, to which Matt shrgged.

"I could have swore that multiple people were being violently murdered in his room when I walked by a while ago." Beyond said casually.

"Hah." Matt laughed amused.

"Well that doesn't really hel-" Mallo stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Near walk out of Whammys. He was hearing some ugly gardening hat, with streaks of white sunscreen around his nose, and big green sunglasses. He was being followed by Roger, who opened the door. Near had a deathly pissed off look in his eyes as he got into the car. Beyond just looked at him, and turned his headtrying not to laugh while Roger was there. The two in the front were doing the sat there in silence.

"Okay, you boys have a good trip now." Roger said. "Don't get into trouble."

"We won't." Mello said quickly, attempting to hold in little chuckles that were slipping out. "Bye." And Roger closed the door. Once that door slammed shut the whole car was over taken in out of control laughter.

"BAHAHA! WHAT THE HELL!" Beyond clenched his stomach, running out of breath.

"You look like Martha Stewart!" Matt teased.

"Shut up!" Near yelled, taking off his glasses and untying the strings so he could take his hat off.

"Wait! Wait! Mello reached into a compartment in the car and produced a camera.

"No!" Near yelled desperately trying to hide his face from the flashing embarrassment. Soon he gave up and just ripped the hat off his head, he then rubbed all the goo off his face. "I hate you all." Near sneered and looked out the window. Eventually the boys settled down, as they made their way to Las Vegas.

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><p>XD Omg, poor Near XD I like it a lot so far, please review though, and tell me what I can do better :3 That would be awesome ! :D More to come very soon ^w^<p> 


	3. A Traumatized Genius

This was also kind of tricky to write lol, but I think I did a pretty okay job :)

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><p>The four sat in silence. Since Nears face was back to normal there wasn't really anything to laugh or talk about. Well, Matt and Mello kept up idle conversation, Near and Beyond however, were dead silent. Beyond looked over at Near who was spacing out at the window, and sighed in boredom. That's why he brought his carry-on bag, he thought as he picked up a black tote.<p>

Hmm, what to do? He thought opening the bag to see what he brought, in the bag he saw; some jam packets, a few manga, his IPod shuffle, black head phones, a box of matches, a pocket knife, another pocket knife, a few pencils, a box of pencil crayons, and a thick sketch book. He decided to listen to music and draw, why not right? So he popped the head phones in his ears and turned on Marilynn Manson, smiling at the images the music put in his mind. Then he grabbed his sketch book and started drawing. The bumpy road made him mess up a lot, he hated it. 'This stupid road makes me want to violently murder someone with fire and knives…' He thought, and then smiled when he remembered he had matches and knives in his bag. With this happy thought he continued to sketch.

Near sat in silence, fascinated with how the world outside of Whammys looked. Radom trees and desert popped up at random, it was pretty. However, this beauty soon became boring. Near sighed and pulled up the transformer he put under the seat in case of boredom emergency. 'Optimus Prime, ready to rescue the town!' Near imagined the robot saying. If this was real, he knew exactly how it would play out. First Prime would transform into a car, and Near would hop in. Then once they arrived at the town that was in danger, he would get out and Prime would transform back into a killing machine, Then Near would stand by and watch as his robot kicked evil monster butt and saved the town! Near smiled as he thought of the glory, then blushed a bit when he realized how lame he was.

Near sighed and looked over at Beyond who was scribbling something into some book, and listening to music. Well, why not? Near poked Beyond's arm lightly to get attention. "What are you drawing?" He asked innocently.

"Well…" Beyond flipped to the fromt of the book and showed the horrid picture to poor Near who almost gagged. It was a girl who was holding a knife, she was all bloody, and maggots were crawling from a hole in her head. One of her eyes were hanging by the nerve, and she had an insane smile to top it off. The next picture was of two crows eating the flesh off of a barely alive man, and tearing him apart bit by bit. The third picture was a bunch of children, on fire running around in chaos and pandemonium. All the pictures were horrifying, and grotesque. By the time he reached the latest one Near was shivering in fear. Beyond put is ear bud back in, and continued drawing. Near clung to the back of Matts chair.

"How much longer?" He asked terrified.

"About eight more hours." Matt answered yawning.

"E-Eight more hours… W-with this guy? H-He's going to kill us. Slowly, and excruciatingly. I can tell." Near shivered.

"Don't be such a baby, at least try to get along." Mello butted in. "Or go to sleep or something."

Near leaned back, 'okay, sleep, sounds great.' He thought and rested his head against the window, closing his eyes. Unfortunately for Near, everytime he closed his eyes, one of Beyonds traumatising illustrations found it's way into Nears head. 'Oh God why!' He thought, and went down in fetal position, trying to focus on the rumbling of the car engine.

Mello checked in the backseat mirror above his window and looked at a smiling Beyond, and a traumatized Near. "Why does Near look so scared?" He asked Matt.

"I don't know. It's Near probably some weird reason we wouldn't understand." He yawned.

Mello smiled in agreement and continued driving. It was different, yeah he's been out of Whammys, but he was always still in the city. The country was really, nice. He had to admit. After about an hour of driving in silence (He focused on the road. He knew if they got into an accident or something and he was the only one who survived then Roger would kill him way more brutally than any petty crash ever could.) his eyes soon began to wander around the car yet again. Matt was playing his DS, headphones in his ears so that the two didn't get into a fight about all the horrid bleeps and bloops his game admitted. In the back Beyond was still smiling creepily at his book, and Near still looked like he was clinging desperately to dear life. Even though Mello hated Near, well, he was the only one who didn't have headphones in his ears.

"Near… Why do you look so scared?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Beyond. He's crazy. Tonight while we're sleeping, he's going to cut us up, he'll start with our legs so that we're still alive, then he will start a fire wish our leg flesh, and cook other parts of us. He will then proceed to feed the cooked flesh to us, he will continue to cut-off various parts of us, then he will cook it and feed it to us individually. An when we think it can't get worse, he'll throw our limb-less torsos into a tub of scalding hot water, and we will be forced to look at everyone's dying faces, and he will laugh at our humiliating deaths." Near said scarily monotone, his eye twitched ever so slightly.

"… Okay then." Mello stopped trying to communicate with anyone, and went back to driving. This was going to be a long trip.

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><p>Don't worry folks, we will see Vegas in the next chapter XD<p> 


	4. A Pretty 'Lady' and a Creep

Okay, ch 4. I am so happy with this, and with your guys reviews lol, you're all giving me such great ideas. But, I have to say, the things that they do overnight, I want to be original. I don't want to play off the original Hangovers ideas, but someone gave me a great idea involving Misa XD Thank you :D More to come soon.! BTW I've never seen the Hangover 2, haven't been interested. So if I did take something from that then don't hit me please. :)

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><p>Eight long hours passed. Eight hours of Beyond drawing, and smiling creepily at Near, who was still curled up in the corner shivering. Eight hours of Matt and Mello ignoring the blancette's cries for help, and focusing on getting to Vegas in one piece. The four thought they were dead, seriously, this was the utmost worst day of each of their lives. Then, they saw it. The bright lights, the unending traffic, and the 'Welcome to Vegas' sign. "We're here." Mello smiled.<p>

Beyond looked up from his book, and Matt from his game to witness the beauty. "Wow it's… Big." He said peering at the lights stretched from what seemed to be one side of the world, to the other. "Near." He said and gently shook the boy.

"W-What?" He flinched slightly, then saw the illuminated path ahead of them. "Oh."

"So where are we staying tonight?" Matt yawned. "And what's the plan anyways?"

"Well, we're staying at some place called Cesar's Palace, Roger gave me the directions." He said pulling out a map. "And well, we're going out tonight, what else." He smirked, looking at Beyond and Near in the back evilly.

"So, you guys are going out right? I can just, stay in the room." Near asked.

"Oh yes." Beyond smiled, and wrapped an arm around the boy. "I'll stay in too. It'll be fun. We can stay up late, tell stories, and play torture games. On an unrelated note, do you know how to play Bleeding Eyes? It's really fun." Near let out a little squeaky noise, and went back to his ball, while Matt and Beyond laughed hysterically. "Let's just say." Beyond continued. "I like bugging you. It's fun. So if you're going to stay in the room, I will too!"

Near let out another squeak. "Okay, okay, I'll go out with you guys…" He shuttered

After a few minutes of silence Mello looked around confused. "Where do we go? It says that this place is left of there then right of that place, but I don't see it!" Mello continued looking.

"Hmm? Well, there's two of those places, try the one over there." Matt said pointing. Needless to say, the four drove around for a good two hours before they arrived at the huge hotel. "Whoa." The blonde looked up. "Roger really treats us well eh?" He laughed.

Melllo pulled up to the vale booth. "Kay, guys, grab your stuff and wait in the lobby." Matt said getting out of the car and going to the trunk. They all got out, grabbed their stuff and went to the lobby. Needless to say they were utterly flabbergasted by the stunning hotel. Mello went to the desk to get their room key, Roger had previously arranged a villa for them. They were just as amazed with the enormous room, complete with a bar, hot tub, and four bedrooms. (With locks on the doors, Near was happy.)

"Well, we don't have time to admire; we have 24 hours in Vegas. Roger expects us back at Whammys by eight o'clock tomorrow night. So, let's het dressed and go." Mello rushed.

"Are we going to stop for a drink in the lounge first?" Matt asked."

"Meh, why not." Mello smiled, as Near and Beyond sat in silence.

Matt wasn't dressing up too nicely, just casual for him. Jeans, striped shirt, and his signature fuzzy vest. "Ready yet Mells?" He called to his frind who was in the bathroom doing God knows what for the last ten minutes.

"Just wait! God, just because you don't mind looking like the fucking Chuckey Doll doesn't mean I can't take pride in my looks!" Mello snapped jokingly behind the door.

"Whoa, prissy." Matt laughed playing his DS.

"SHUT UP!" Mello's guilty secret, he HATED being called prissy, or bitchy, or princess. He was not a girl, and since when did it become such a crime for a boy to want to look good? But, honestly, people who don't know Mello often mistake him for a girl. Especially on nights like tonight. He walked out of the bathroom, hair combed neatly, in a black leather tank top, and tight leather pants. His thin waist, and feminine hips didn't help his situation in the least. Also, he didn't have an unattractive face. Even Matts caught himself thinking if Mello was a girl he'd go for her, weird as that sounds. "We ready then?" The blonde raised an eyebrow at his friend who was gawking at him.

"Oh, ugh yeah." Matt smiled goofily.

Near went to his room, locked his door, and plopped his bag on his bed. 'Why do I have to go out? No, more importantly why does Beyond insist on tormenting me!' Near thought in annoyance as he stripped his shirt and pants till he was left in his boxers only. He looked over his body in the mirror 'Wow, I am really white.' He thought noticing he legitly had no other patches of color on him like most people. Oh well. He knew he had to pack some going out clothes, so he packed a black and white plaid shirt. The sleeves came down to half way on his arm, and it buttoned up. He's never had an excuse to wear it inside of Whammys, so why not right? He also packed a pair of jeans he's had at the back of his closet for quite some time. Now, as smart as Near is, he never thought that he might have grown since the two years ago he got the jeans. Now they looked like skinny jeans on him, 'great' he thought looking at the end result. It didn't liik bad, he just felt weird wearing tight clothing, he _was _used to pyjamas after all.

Beyond looked at himself in the mirror. 'Eh.' He thought. He was wearing a longsleeved black shirt, and jeans. Closest to classy he'll ever get. So he just walked out wearing the same clothes. All four of them met in the living room. Beyond came out of his room last, andthen the three others stood up. "Off to the lounge then?" Near asked.

"Yup." Mello said and they began walking.

You know, the lounge really shocked the four again, gorgeous. "I'll go get us some drinks, you three go sit down, kay." Mello said and went to the counter.

"What can I get for you gorgeous?" The bartender asked kindly, to which Mello's eye twitched. The only reason he didn't clobber him right then and there was because he didn't want to start a scene.

"Um, four shooters." Mello ordered.

"Four? You can handle four?" The bartender asked.

"Oh, no, aha, I'm getting them for my friends too." He sad, and tilted his head in the direction of the other three.

Unfortunately, for Mello, he didn't notice the odd man in a trench coat, with a little pedo moustache sitting right beside him. The man noticed Mello though. Remember how I said Mello tends to be mistaken for a girl? Well, it happened again. The creep was watching Mello, and the creep wanted Mello. Once the blonde gestured towards his friends, the creep looked over his shoulder to see who these friends were. If his lovely target had a boyfriend, then he would have to abort. Unfortunately for Mello, a table of three cute young girls were sitting at the table beside the three he was actually talking about. Now, the creep assumed this lovely girl was here with the other girls. They were all really cute. So, why not. Unfortunately for Mello, he didn't realize when the creep slipped a little pill into each shooter, and he didn't notice the creepy laugh the guy admitted.

So you could image the heartbreak on the creeps face when his target walked right past the table with the girls, and sat down at one with three guys. 'Oh shit.' Thought the creep, as he got up and hastily left, laughing slightly under his breath when he saw the four guys shoot the drugged drinks.

Near examined the glass Mello set down right infront of him. "What is this?" He said looking at the stubby glass filled with clear liquid.

"Shooters." Mello said about to chug his. "Wait, you can't tell me you don't even know what a shooter is!"

"…" Near looked off in silence.

"Oh my God." Beyond laughed. "You take it and drink it really fast, it's a good buzz."

"… Like, just chug it?" Near questioned.

"Yes, like this." Mello said, downing the whole glass like it was nothing. "Not you give it a go."

"Okay…" Near said as he brought the glass up to his lips, chickening out he took a tiny sip, gagging on the taste. "Oh my God, that is disgusting!" He said wiping his tongue with a napkin attempting to get the taste out.

"That's why you drink it fast, it's not so bad once you do it." Said Matt, chugging his down. Beyond followed soon after.

"Chug, chuc, chug, chug." Beyond started as a joke, but soon Matt and Mello joined in, until Near had no choice but to down the whole thing. "Aha, we can go now." Beyond said, standing up. The boys could already begin to feel the effects of the _alcohol._

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><p><em>Oh Gawd, I was laughing so hard writing this XD I like Reviews, just sayin :P<em>


	5. A Pain Like Nothing Else

Oh poor Near, he never knew what pain a hangover could bring XD

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><p>"Fuuuuuuuuck…" Near groaned tiredly as he opened his heavy eyes. He was, confused… 'Where am I?' He thought trying to prop himself up with his arms, failing the first time. Near looked confused until he realized he was in a bath tub. Near jerked up suddenly in shock, then a throbbing, head splitting migraine hit him. Back into fetal position he went, he didn't even care he was still in a gross hotel tub. "Make this stop." He groaned, holding his head. 'Ugh, do I have to… Get out, or what?" He thought propping himself back up. 'Okay, I can do this.' He thought trying to muster the needed strength to actually stand.<p>

Once he finally got up, took him about six tries, he shakily stepped out of the bath tub. "Whoa." He whispered to himself when he saw the trashed bathroom. The floor was littered with towels, and ripped up toilet paper. One of the lights just above the door was hanging by a thin wire. The toilet had been filled with… Oatmeal? And the walls, and mirror were smeared with a red substance. "OH GOD! BEYOND!" Near shouted and went to run to the young sociopaths room, inevitably tripping over his own feet and face planting into the door. "Ugh." He groaned, and got up yet again. "Owe." Near said rubbing his now way worse head.

Once he managed to crawl out the door he looked at the room, and face planted again, this time onto the cold floor. Lifting his head he couldn't believe this! The bar was littered with cups, and clothes. On a table, three sets of coconut bras sat. The living room was a disaster! The chairs were all elsewhere, thrown in all directions. A twister mat was sprawled in the middle. "Oh God" Near shuttered at the embarrassing thoughts that ran through his mind. The hot tub had various kinds of blow up dolls, ranging from women, to farm animals. "OH GOD." Near said louder. He couldn't stand it. He had, no, like NO memory of the previous night. So, he decided he would ask Mello. He trudged his way through various pieces of garbage, and who knows what until he reached the door, and opened it slowly.

Inside the room, Matt was sleeping in Mello's bed shirtless. Well, Mello, who was showing a lot of skin (Not naked, but he was wearing some weird green thing.), was snuggling Matt. "Oh." Near let out, then he noticed another blonde snuggling the other side of Matt. "… What do I do in this situation? Do I let them sleep, or…" Near thought aloud, then decided he would just go find Beyond.

First, he checked Beyond's room, empty. Okay, let's check Matt's room, empty. Okay, what about…. Near searched the hotel, but he didn't find Beyond. 'Oh. My. God.' Near panicked, running not so steadily back to Mello's room, and up to the bed on his side. "… Mello." Near whispered, to which he got no answer. "… Mellooooooo." He said whinily poking him, still no reply. "Melloooooo." Near said louder, gently shaking him.

Mello coughed, "Ugh, what." He rolled over and looked at Near, only to face a huge head ache. "Oh owe." Mello groaned, and held his head, unintentionally falling off the bed. Mello grabbed the first thing closest to him, which had happened to be Matt, who rolled off on top of him. "Owe, fuck, Matt get off." He tried to push the redhead. Matt just rolled lazily off the blonde.

"Mello." Near said seriously. "I can't find Beyond."

"What? Did you look everywhere?" Mello yawned trying to get up, shakily.

"…" Near stared at Mello who was wearing a lime green bikini. "…"

"Wha-" Mello looked down. "WHAT THE FUCK!" His scream shuck both Matt and the other blonde to consciousness.

"Why are you yelling so early in the morning?" A blonde girl yawned, and stretched up in the bed.

"Who are you?" Mello gave the blonde girl a death stare.

"Don't you remember me silly? I'm Misa. We met last night." The girl giggled annoyingly. By this time Matt sat up on the floor beside Mello.

"… Get the fuck out of here!" Mello yelled pointing to the door.

"Pft, touchy." She pouted. "You know Matty, Your little girlfriends cute but really bitchy."

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" He yelled.

"Fine!" She said, and got up. "Hey Matty, call me later if you want to drop this hag." The made the call me sing with her hands and left.

The three boys watched her leave, and waited till they heard the door click shut. "… Mello. What are you wearing?" Matt asked looking over at Mello who was still standing.

"Fuck you!" He yelled, and ran into the bathroom.

"… What happened last night?" A topless Matt asked wearily trying to crawl back into bed.

"I don't remember." Near said panicked. "Is this supposed to happen!"

"…Pretty much." Matt yawned, and flopped back down.

"…" Neat looked at him, and went to the bathroom door, knocking on it. "Mello. What do we do about Beyond?" He asked.

"Well, I guess we'd better find him before we need to be home. When is that? Tomorrow at like eightish?" Mello yawned opening the door, he was in his regular leather now. "No problem. We have lots of time." He said casually. "MATT!" He yelled from the door. "Get up! We have to find Beyond."

"Meh." He lounged. "Fine." He lifted himself out of the nice warm bed, and went to find a shirt. "By the way, what's that around you neck?" He asked and pointed to Near.

"What?" He looked down, to see some sort of necklace, with a gold pendant. He took it off and examined it, reading the words engraved into what felt like a cheap metal. "K-Karaoke King. What?" He turned it over to see more words. "Maddy's Twain Karaoke Bar and Grill… Oh God, I didn't…"

Mello and Matt broke into insane laughter at the look of horror spread on Nears face. Way worse than Beyond could ever do to him. "Ooooh, Mr. Karaoke King!" Matt taunted.

"SHUT UP! LET'S GO!" He said shoving the pendant into his pocket.

"…" Matt and Mello were surprised by Nears angry outburst, until Mello broke the silence. "Can you sing me a song?"

" FUCK OFF!" Near slammed the door, and headed down to the restaurant, he was followed my Matt, and Mello.

Nears head was on the table, "What is this pain. Why don't you guys feel like this?" He asked the other two who sat at the table innocently.

"The hangover? Yeah, we feel it. Here take these, they'll help." Matt said handing Near a little pill bottle.

"Okay." Mello started. "Well, I got nothing. What do you guys remember of last night?"

"Well, I remember the lounge… And that's it." Matt said shamed. "We had like, what, one shooter? Fuck we're pathetic."

"It's okay, Near?" Mello asked the blancette hopefully.

"Nothing. Sorry." He said, pulling the metal out of his pocket, he set it on the table. He ruffled around in his pockets again.

"What're you doing your highness?" Matt raised an eyebrow jokingly to him.

Near ignored Matts little comment, and continued to dig around his pockets. "Well, I thought we should check our pockets. For clues, you know."

"Oh, I see." Matt said feeling in his.

Mello just sat in embarrassment, he couldn't find his pants, and a lime green bikini doesn't usually have pockets.

"Okay." Near said. Well, we know we went to this Maddy's Twain place. And I have a receipt for… six hundred dollars from T-Tattoo Asylum!" He slightly panicked.

"It's okay, did you see a tattoo on any of us when we woke up?" Mello said trying to calm the innocent boy down.

"Well I didn't check for tattoos!" He said.

"It's okay, don't worry about it, it was probably from that skanky bitch." Mello sneered.

"Well, I have… A note, it says, Omg, look at all these nuns, we could totally take this shit… Wait, WHAT!" Matt examined the note again, "What did we do?" He slumped back.

"It's okay." Mello sat up. "Let's start with this Maddy's Twain, we better get going."

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><p>I have a whole list of ideas written down oh God, I feel bad for putting these poor imaginary characters through this pain XD Review? :D<p> 


	6. Karaoke King

XD Omg , I lovee this , picturing poor Near was the best XD

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><p>"Hey." Mello called to the vale, "We need our car." He said handing the boy a ticket.<p>

"Okay sir, I'll be right back." He said looking over it, and running off to get the car.

"See, we'll get the car, we'll drive around, regain some of our memory, then head home." Mello said casually. "No need to worry." He closed his eyes, and smiled at Near and Matt, who's jaws dropped as they saw, it. "What?" Mello said confused, then he turned around to see his car, his beautiful mustang, painted a bright hot pink. "WHAT!" He screamed, "WHO'S FUCKIN-" His rants were muffled out by Matt who opened the back seat and practically threw him in.

"I'll drive." He said, "You just… Vent."

"WHAT THE FUCK! PINK! PINK! WHO'S FUCKING FAULT IS THIS! I'LL BET IT WAS THAT LITTLE WHORE! FUCK SHIT TIT WHORE BITCH SKANK CUNT-" Mello's ranting continued, Near and Matt just tried to tune him out.

"Okay, where too first?" Near asked.

"Hmm, does that receipt have a time?" Matt asked pulled onto the road.

"Ummmm…" Near looked it over, "5:16"

"Holy shit we really went all out eh?" Matt laughed to which Near just twitched his eye a little. "Okay, well then, since we have no idea what the note's about, let's try that Matty's Twain place, does that metal have an address?"

"501 East Twain." Near stated.

"Awesome." Matt nodded and continued driving.

They took about half an hour trying to get there, listening to Mello's pissed off yells, and politically incorrect vocabulary. "Okay Mello, settle down we're here." Matt yawned.

"FUCK YOU!" Mello answered still quite pissed.

The three entered the dingy tavern, and looked around. It was poorly lit, and smelled of musk. They approached the bar and waited for the goofy looking man behind the counter to serve them. "What can I do for you g-" He stopped and stared at Near. "Oh!" He laughed, "Back for more I see!"

"W-what?" Near asked.

"Oh come on, Mr. Karaoke King! You kicked ass last night!" He said cheerfully. "Don't tell me you don't remember."

"Ok, well, you see… We have this little problem." Matt began. "Now, we're having a hard time remembering just what happened last night, but we need to know. Did we talk to you, or did you see us talking to anyone?"

"Aha, well we sure had an interesting conversation leather boy!" He looked over at Mello.

"Oh?" He asked. "About what?"

"Hmmm, well you started out saying the zoo was amazing, and that that poor panda will regret mocking you." He thought.

"… Wait, what did I say?" Mello asked genuinely concerned.

"Well, we didn't stay on the subject for too long, I'm sorry" The barkeep said forgivingly, "But, if it helps, this place has a video camera on 24/7"

The four huddled in a dark back room with a little computer, watching the screen intently. "See, there you are." The man pointed to the screen as Matt, Mello, Near, and Beyond all walked in. Okay, you were quiet for a few minutes then… Here." He said fast forwarding it, when he stopped it Near was up on the stage, with everyone cheering. Matt and Mello were up front yelling encouragement.

Nears face dropped in embarrassment as the eighty-ish sounding music came on, and he started singing the most embarrassing song imaginable. "Uh huh, Uh huh this my shit." The televised Near started going. "A few times I've been around the track, but it ain't just gonna happen like that, cause I ain't no holliback girl, no I ain't no holliback girl!" He sang.

"OH GOD! TURN IT OFF!" Near panicked embarrassed.

Matt and Mello couldn't control the laughter. "oh wait," The barkeep brought more 'good news'" there were more songs."

He watched the fast forwarding screen, until it played and Near saw himself blaring out "Ma Humps, Ma humps ma humps ma humps! My lovely lady lumps, in the back and in the front!" The screen fast forwarded again. "At first I was afraid, I was petrified, thought I could no longer live without you by my side, oh how I spent so many nights just feeling lonely for myself I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high and you see me!"

"TURN IT OFF!" The blancette shouted angrily. The other two were still laughing hysterically.

"Guess we know why they call you the Karaoke King!" Matt teased.

"FUCK! Look, do you know were we went afterwards?" Near twitched.

"Hmm, I think you said something about Club Paradise." The barkeep said, and turned off the screen.

"Thank you! Let's go!" He yelled and dragged two red-faced maniacs out of the bar.

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><p>Oh God, Holliback girl, My humps, I will survive? My mind id the weirdest XD Lol review? :D Over 9000 points if you do! :3<p> 


	7. I'm a Lesbian?

Sorry guys, this is kind of shorter than the others, lol

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><p>The three boys left the karaoke club, and got into their little pink car. "That guy was nice, I like him." Matt Said trying to break the tension of an embarrassed Near, and a still pissed about his car Mello. When he got no answer he continued to talk, "Club Paradise, I wonder how that is. He wrote down the address on that napkin, Near can you pass it?"<p>

"Sure." He said quietly handing Matt the napkin.

"Okay.." He said and off they went, driving round Vegas in their pink car. Some guys would take glances at the car, assuming some hot girls were driving, they would honk and flirt. God the three just wanted to curl up and die. Mello, who sat in the back again, would glare daggers at the ass holes.

"Kay, here we are." Matt said pulling into a little crummy parking lot. "Club Paradise."

"What kinda bar is this?" Mello said inspecting the place. "Topless Tuesdays?" He said disgustedly reading a giant billboard.

"Guess we'll find out." Matt said going into the place, Mello and Near coughed from the smoke, Matt didn't mind it.

The three looked around, and almost instantly they knew. If the blaring music, sloppy pervs, and sluttly giggles don't give it away, Club Paradise is a strip club. "Fuck." Mello sighed as he looked around the place. Why would 'he' of all people come here? Girls did NOTHING for him, seriously when Linda tried to kiss him back in grade 4 he almost hoarked up his lunch. "Why would we be here?"

"I don't know." Matt kinda laughed, "Fun." He said sticking his tongue out, Near was dead silent. The three went up to the bar table again. "Hey." Matt called to get the barkeeps attention.

"Were we here last night? Do you remember us?" Mello asked.

"Sorry." A tall blonde guy said apologetically. "I didn't work last night, but I think Tina and Kandi didt." He said gesturing to a stage where two girls were dancing very provocatively.

"Mello." Near asked blushing. "D-Do we have to talk to the strippers?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Mello sighed, "Fuck."

Matt and Mello walked up to the stage confidently, while Near dragged behind. "Hey, Tina? Kandi?" Matt asked looking for the girls.

"Yes." The two girls said seductively in sync, hopping off the stage and both went right up to him, really closely.

"Do you remember us? Were we here last night." He asked.

"Hmm? Well, I don't remember you." A burnette said, "Kandi, do you remember them?"

"Well," A bleach blonde with wild blue eyes looked up and down Matt."I don't remember you." Then she looked over at Mello, "Oh, but you were so much fun." She said flicking Mello's nose, he seriously wanted to snap her thin wrist.

"And what do you mean by that?" He asked annoyed. "Don't you remember, you danced with me! You were so sexy, and good, oh my God." She giggled.

"…?" Mello was speechless.

"Aha." Matt cut in. "So he danced with you girls?" He asked meanly.

"Yes, wait, he?" She questioned snapping her head towards Mello. "Aren't you s lesbian?" She asked confused.

"OH M-mmmph" Mello's almost-rant/Bitch slap was muffled you by Matts hand.

"Near, handle this." Matt said dragging a freaking out Mello out of the club, hand over his mouth to muffle any words that may offend anyone.

"Ummm…." Near was lost for words as he looked at the two ladies, blushing.

"Awe! He's so cute!" The brunette said pinching Nears cheek.

"Gyah, no…" He squeaked. "D- Did we say anything before we left? About where we were going next?"

"Hmmmmm… Well, we were joking around and I told the lesbian to go to Times Square, if that helps."

"Th-thanks." Near said practically running out of the place. Never again would he do something like that. As soon as Near opened the car door his ears were practically blown off by the chronic bitching Mello continued to scream out.

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS! IMMA GO BACK THERE AND PUNCH HER RIGHT IN HER WHORE MOUTH! LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, I WANNA SET THOSE BITCHES ON FIRE AND WATCH THEM BURN IN THEIR OWN POOL OF SKANYNESS AND HERPIES!" Mello yelled.

"Okay, you're starting to sound like Beyond." Matt sighed. "Did we get anything Near?"

"She said maybe try Times Square, a joke or something."

"Okay, off to Times Square it is I guess." Matt sighed, they've been at this for about an hour already, and they've gotten nowhere, is there even a point in looking? The bitching went on, as they drove yet again.

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><p>Hehe, Next it's Matts turn to be humiliated :D Oh Matty, I love you but I'm going to have fun X3<p> 


	8. Details, Minor Details

Okay, I made a HUGE mistake in the previous chapter, the boys said they were off to Times Square, Yeah that's in New York, and it didn't work. I don't know WHY I said that, but it was wrong. They're going to Victoria Park (A place I made up.) I tried to use real places, but it was hard to find the type of place I needed for this chapter, I've never been to Vegas lol

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><p>Victoria Park wasn't too far away from the strip club, only about ten minutes. When the three boys parked they got out, and walked to the big park. "Victoria Park eh?" Matt said looking around. "Ain't as big as I expected." He said lighting up a much needed smoke.<p>

"Well, we need to look for something." Mello sneered, still pissed off about the things that've happened so far.

"Look, it's no big deal. We just look around till we find something, anything that'll give us a lead." The redhead comforted his friend.

"Oh my God!" Mello finally snapped. "IT IS A BIG DEAL! IT'S A HUGE FUCKING DEAL!" He ranted, getting interrupted by Near.

"Mello, shh. People are staring." He said looking around awkwardly.

"Oh my God! Whatever." Mello was really pissed.

Matt yawned, and lead the group looking around the park, looking at the trees and benches searching for something to guarantee they were actually here last night. After about ten minutes Matt got pretty annoyed. "Fuck, is there anything?"

Almost instantly, Mello burst out laughing manically, barely ableto muster words. "Oh, my AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!"

Matt looked at him unamused, then Near clued in and he joind in on the humor.

"WHAT!" Matt yelled, wanting to know.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! T-Turn around!" Mello said in between breaths of air.

When Matt saw what Mello and Near were laughing at his face dropped in shame. "Oh. My. God." There, on the side of a building, was a spray painted him posing naked giving a thumbs up, for the world to see. There were some words by him, but he was too focused on the fact that whoever did this put in enough detail to give him a penis. "W-Who, What!" Matt yammered, his face about the same color as his hair.

Matt and Near didn't hold anything back ,they laughed so hard, people actually got a little freaked out. One lady looked at the picture in disgust, then she looked at Matt, connecting the two, she dropped her jaw and quickly proceeded to leave the park. "Oh God, that is lovely." Mello laughed.

"Ahh, suddenly I'm not too embarrassed being a karaoke king for a night." Near teased.

"Shut the fuck up, we need to check it out." Matt said walking towards the mural.

"What do these graffiti letters say?" Near asked, not too familiar with urban trends.

"Hmmm," Mello looked over them, slowely deciphering the badly painted letters. "W-Whammy Boyz, Tearin shit up in Vegas." He read embarrassed. "Oh look, our names are even down here. Matt, Mello, Beyond, and Near."

"So that means he was here with us!" Matt jumped. "That's so good, I was thinking we might have lost him before we hit the karaoke bar, the strippers didn't mention him, and he wasn't on the video. So, I guess he's about the same drunk as he is sober, anti-social and stuff."

"You know, he's not shy sober, his drunk probably calms him down, makes him more level headed." Near commented.

"Well whatever." Matt yawned. "We don't know where to go from here." He sighed.

"I still have that receipt to the tattoo place." Near said pulling it out of his pocket.

"Awesome! Kay, we'll go there." Matt said, heading to the car yet again.

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><p>Tattoo Time ^^ lol Review? :)<p> 


	9. Tramp Stamp

I'm so sorry I havne't updated D: I was grounded :( And playing League of Legends... But now I will update like a beast! I swear :D AND! I have an idea for another story :D

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><p>"Okay guys, tattoo place? Where is it?" Matt asked getting in the drivers seat.<p>

"Just go over there, and down that street." Near said reading the receipt.

"God, I wonder who got the tattoo… Or what that person got." Mello slumped backi into his seat, never too afraid to say what other people were thinking.

"…" Mello and Near both both sat in silent anticipation.

Only after a few minutes driving, they got there. The place was nice, for a tattoo parlor. The three entered and looked around inside, looking for a desk or something. "Hey," Mello asked walking up to a girl who had half her black hair shaved off, and piercings all over her face. "So, we can't remember what we did last night, but we have a receipt to this place. Would you be able to maybe, tell us if we were here, and if we were what did we do?"

"Yeah sure." She said looking through a large black book that was sitting on the desk in front of her. "What are your guy's like, names." She asked bitchily, while chewing her gum.

"Matt, Mello or Near." Mello said annoyed at her bitchyness.

"Well, it says Near, at like five in the morning." She looked up.

Nears face went pale. "What did Near get done?" He asked scared.

"It just says like, tattoo."

"Thank-you, do you know who gave the tattoo?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, Ramona. She's like, working on someone right now but she should be done in like, ten minutes. After that she's off." The girl stated plainly.

"Thank you. Do we just wait?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, I'll go tell her you need to talk to her." She said walking into the back.

Mello and Matt went over to wait, but they noticed Near still standing in his place. They came back, took Near by both hands, and walked him to a couch where he sat down. "It's okay." Matt tried to calm a freaking out Near.

"Okay? This is not okay, none of this is okay!" He panicked. "What's okay about any of this! We misewell still trying, Beyond is gone, probably out commiting a mass murder by now! Roger is going to kill us, then skin us, then kick us out. Since we have no form of identification we wouldn't be able to get jobs, so we would die in poverty and depression!" He vented.

"Okay Near, that's crazy, just settle down." Mello comforted.

"Ok, okay." Near calmed, trying to even out his breaths.

A woman with very short green hair came out of the back. "Yes?" She asked the three boys.

"Hi, Ramona?" Matt asked, to which the girl nodded. "You see, we've forgotten what we did last night, were we here?" Matt asked charmingly.

"Yes, that one kid got some work done." She said nodding to Near.

"WHAT! WHAT DID I DO!" He paniced, again.

"Well, you three came in being douche bags, laughing and shit, you were really annoying. And you said you wanted a tattoo, so I gave you one." She said bluntly.

"Where? Of what?" Near asked, his eye wide with fear.

"On your lower back." She laughed. "You got a tramp stamp."

Nears eye twitched slightly as he fell to his knees in shame. Matt and Mello tried to hold back more laughter, they knew Near couldn't take in right now. "Oh."

"Yeah, you got Crazy Bitch written in cursive, and on either side of the lettering are purple butterfly wings and some swirls. I like it, it looks nice."

"Thanks…" Near said saldy.

"Well… Did we talk to you at all? Tell you where we were heading or anything?" Matt cut in awkwardly.

"Well, you mentioned some panda, at, Leroy Zoo I think it was? I don't know, I wasn't really listening."

"Leroy Zoo?" Matt said. "Thank-you." And he turned to take a depressed Near back to the car.

"So, umm, do you know where that is?" Mello asked.

"Yeah, just drive down the street, should be there." She spat.

"Thanks…" Mello said wanting to pop a bitch in the mouth. He hated being talked down too, and this little bitch was just asking to be punched.

This time Near sat in the back, Mello opened the passenger door and got in hurriedly. "So, just drive down the street." he said to Matt. "Near." He said sympathetically turning around. "So, you okay?" He got no reply. "… Wanna show us your tat?" Again, no reply. "… Near." Mello called, leaning over and poking Near's cheek.

"Fuck off." Near spat and looked away.

"He's a little upset." Matt stated lighting a cigarette and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Well no fucking shit. But we haven't found Beyond yet. He can't just quit on us." Mello fought slightly.

"Just give him some time, it'll be fine." Matt cracked his neck.

When they got to the park, the first thing they noticed was all the police, and news cameras surrounding the Zoo. "Oh God, what did we do to that panda?" Matt's jaw dropped, making the cigarette fall from his mouth.

"Whatever, let's go." Mello said.

"Well they're not just gonna let us waltz in!" Matt said annoyed.

"Sooo, hop the fance?" Mello offered.

"Fine." Matt huffed. "Near? Coming?"

"I can't hop fences; just let me sit in here and sulk." He said emotionless.

"Kay, we'll be back soon." Mello said closing the door, and following Matt around the back to find a place they could get in the zoo undetected.

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><p>Hmmm... Not as funny as I would have likes, but the tattoo is important for the end :D REVIEW ! :D<p> 


	10. That Poor Panda

Near sat alone in the car, wallowing. But, being Near, he soon realized how stupid her was being, so he stopped. "Well, why not listen to some music." He thought aloud, reaching over, and pushing the button to turn on the radio.

Soon a panicked voice filled the car. "We have conformation, the zoo tragedy that took place last night was done by three or more people! This is Takada, and I will continue to keep you updated on the story, so stay tuned to Vegas 108 am."

"… Zoo tragedy?" Near questioned, looking around at the police cars. "What_ did _we do?" He thought, continuing to listen.

"Wait! We have just received an update! The panda will be okay! Doctors do not think the circumstances will affect it's life. Moppy the panda will be able to continue a normal, happy life here at his home zoo. I am Takada, thank you."

"Fuck." Near said, and hopped out of the car, running towards where he saw Matt and Mello hop the fence, "Guys…" Too late, they're already gone. "They better not get caught, Beyond won't be in there anyways." He sighed, and miserably waddled back to the car.

"Okay, so where are we headed?" Mello asked, sneaking around some cages.

"Well, people keep mentioning some panda, so, let's try there." Matt sighed.

"Pandas…" Mello thought aloud, looking around, "Bears are that way." He said pointing towards all the police.

"Fuck, the bears would be over there." Matt facepalmed.

"Well, all we need is a peek, right? Come on, it won't be too hard." Mello said, taking Matts hand and leading him behind a cage. "Look, the employees use little paths and such to get around, and they seem quite empty at this moment, so stop being a little princess and get your ass over there." He pointed up the path.

"Ugh, why do I put up with you?" Matt sighed to himself.

"Cause, if you didn't have me you'd probably end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Face it Matty, you need me." Mello stuck his tongue out.

"Oh really? I always thought it would be the other way around."

"…And what's that supposed to mean?" Mello raised a brow to Matts comment.

"Well… I mean, no offence, but, people DO often mistake you for a girl… And, like, I don't know, there are some pretty weird people out there…" Matt tried to talk his way out of Mello's questions.

The blonde stopped and gave Matt a death glare. "Oh, really? So, you're _looking out for me_?"

"Yes, wait, no I-I just. ugh." He slumped.

""No no, finish what you were saying." Mello stared him down.

"Well… I… I just, don't want you to get, hurt… Yeah." Matt nodded.

"Oh really? So you want to protect me?" Mello snickered, to which Matt nodded. "And, um, exactly what are you trying to protect me from?" His voice was now hard as a rock.

"… Umm, I…." Matt blushed.

"Hmm? Didn't hear you there." Mello pushed.

"I… I DON'T WANT TO FIND OUT YOU WENT AND GOT YOUR ASS RAPED ONE DAY OKAY! IS THAT SO BAD!" Matt unintentionally yelled, his thoughts just kind of, came out.

"Hmm." Mello thought for a second, and then, "YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE! I CAN PROTECT MYSELF, I'M NOT SOME LITTLE FUCKING GIRL I COULD TAKE YOU! RIGHT HERE, LET'S GO! FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME BITCH!" Mello yelled running towards Matt to punch him, Matt, however, had experience with a pissed off Mello.

"Mello!" He yelled, and took hold of the blonde's thin arms before he had a chance to hit him. "Stop it, I'm sorry!" He pleaded.

"Oh really!" Mello said doubtfully, trying to shake his arms free.

"Yes! Look, I was just a little… Shaken up about last night! You see, anything could have happened, and I just want you to be safe."

Mello stopped trying to break free, and just looked at Matt. Mello was shorter than Matt, so he had to look up, but Matt could see the expression on the blondes face. It was the one he always got when the fights were over, kind of a mix between annoyed, but caring.

"HEY, WHO'S THERE?" An angry voice called from in front of the cage.

"Shit." Mello looked quickly at the police officer, trying to look around the bush to see them.

"Get down." Matt whispered, and grabbed Mello by the arm to pull him down.

"Let's go." Mello hushed, pulling Matt behind him as they ran.

"STOP!" The voice yelled.

"Shit, he's on us." Matt said, looking back.

"Here. Let's hide in the bush." Mello said pulling Matt into a bush by one of the cages."

The two heard footsteps running, getting closer, and closer, and then running farther away from them. "Good. He's gone." Mello sighed in relief, he turned to peer into the cage behind them. "Shit, look at all those police." He whispered to Matt.

"Why're they all looking into this cage? Shit, do they see us." He backed away.

"No, I don't think so." Mello looked out again. "But, there's some like, _in _the cage. Why?" He asked looking around. "Oh shit, what kind of poor species of bear is that! It looks so pathetic!" He said pointing.

"Wow, that looks… Kind of gross. It's all pink, and crusty." Matt commented, looking around. "…Fuck… Mello…" He said, looking scared.

"What?"

"That's a panda bear…" Matt face palmed again. "Fuck, we shaved a fucking panda!"

"Wait, we did that!" Mello pointed, then noticing bags of black and white hair. "Oh!" Mello sounded sad. "Oh, my, God! Why! He looks so, so, SO SAD!"

" I know, fuck, poor panda…" Matt let out, a moment of silence was shared between Mello and Matt, in respect for the poor panda's hair. Something surprising about Matt and Mello, they like animals, especially really cute furry ones. And they were utterly ashamed of their actions.

"Well… I doubt we're going to find out anything else…" Matt looked apologetically at the poor panda.

"Yeah, we should go…" Mello had the same look.

The two professionally hopped the fence, and walked back to the car in silence.

Near just looked at the two who got in the car silently. I was weird, did they have a fight, or, what? "Soooooo… How'd it go…?" Near asked.

Neither Mello nor Matt answered.

"… Okay then…" Near looked away, and went back to his seat in the back.

After a few minutes Mello spoke up. "Well… We fucked up a poor innocent panda."

"Yes, I know, I heard the radio report… But did we find anything about Beyond?"

Matt and Mello shook their heads in sync.

"Oh." Near looked around confused. "So, why're you guys so quiet?"

"Because we…" Mello trailed off.

"We…" Matt butted in.

"WE MESSED UP A POOR INNOCENT LITTLE PANDAS LIFE AND NOW NO GIRL PANDA IS GOING TO WANT TO MATE WITH HIM, AND HE'LL BE ALL LONELY, AND THEN THE ENTIRE PANDA SPECIES WILL DIE OUT AND IT'LL ALL BE OUR FAULTS!" Mello yelled.

"… Okay, you guys are over reacting… It's just one panda…" Near stated.

"FUCK YOU NEAR!" Mello yelled.

"… Well then, I'll leave you two to… _ mourn _over the loss of a pandas… attractiveness…" Near said, and looked around confused again. "So, where are we going?"

"Back to the hotel." Matt said. "We don't have any other leads."

And off they went.


	11. Sunburnt and Freezing

OMFG This sook so long! I apolagize! Like, omg, stuff was happening, and I got addicted to my PS3 So ... I'm sorry aha, well please enjoy, still :3

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><p>The three pulled up to the parking lot for the hotel. They had to give it to the vale's so it took a few minutes to get all set up. The three got out and walked towards the door in silence, in shame.<p>

Once they got in the room they all just stood there, completely forgetting how disgusting state they left the room in.

"Holy fuck." Matt sighed, massaging his temples. "I totally forgot about this."

"Huh." Mello huffed, blowing his long blonde bangs up in the process. "Well, whatever. You know, I'll bet Beyonds buried under all this shit."

"… Well…" Near sighed. "Maybe we could find some clues if we start cleaning."

"UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Both Matt and Mello groaned in annoyance.

"Have you not see this place!" Mello began. "It'll take us hours to clean it! I mean, fuck, what time is it anyways!" He barked.

"It's eleven." Matt said, checking his phone. "Wow, we really looked eh?"

"Yes, we spent the whole day searching, where the fuck is he!" Mello bitched.

"Like I said, let's clean, we have to be back for 3 tomorrow right? We still have time." Near tried to encourage.

"Ugh, wow, and thy picked us to be L's successors? Fuck, we're the worst detectives ever!" Mello ranted, flopping his head to smash on a table.

Matt looked at the blonde out of the corner of his eye, "Yes… well, Near's right, we do still have time. Let's start looking."

Mello got up, slouching, and dropped to his knees to look at some things around the table. Near went over by the bar, and went through the contents on the counter. Matt went to the main area by the couch, and television.

"Okay, so let's look through this stuff, and bring anything that may be remotely important to this table." Matt instructed.

After a good 20 minutes or trifling through random objects, everyone had a pile of things. "Okay," Matt began, "I found an electric razor, and lipstick, I guess we know why these are here, but nothing else."

Mello then started, "I found a receipt to that strip club, and a note." He held it up to examine it.

"What's it say?" Matt asked.

"Well, it looks like a doctor's note, it says ' Dizziness, fever, severely impaired, trouble breathing, sleepy, patient blood work has turned up positive of roofied, treatment- Give lots of water, and get sleep. Dr. Hanson.'"

"Wait… Roofied? Like… Rohypnol ?" Near questioned.

"… This has to be wrong…" Mello examined, "Who was roofied?" He asked.

"Well…" Matt let out.

"Well what?" Mello looked around confused.

Near cut in, "Rohypnol, or the date-rape drug, is very easy to consume. Anyone could have sliped it to us throughout the night."

"… Why did you say us?" Matt asked annoyed.

"Well, none of us remember what happened… I mean, if it was just an alcohol induced black out, it wouldn't be so bad." Near informed.

"… So, they got all of u?" Mello confirmed, to which the blancette, and the redhead nodded. "WELL FUCK!" He yelled in anger.

The three went silent for a few moments, before Matt interrupted. "Look, it's okay, nothing happened… And, I'm pretty sure Beyond can fend for himself, he wouldn't let anything happen." Matt comforted his best friend.

The blonde sighed, "I guess you're right."

"Well," Near cut in again, "I might have found something." Near said holding out Mello's camera.

"You found the camera!" Matt jumped.

"Well, yes, but I never checked it, should we…" Near asked a little scared.

"Well, I know it'll be horrible, and embarrassing, but don't worry, it's to help find Beyond." Mello comforted the blancette.

Near sighed, "Fine." He said powering up the camera.

"Holy shit." Matt exclaimed, seeing as they had taken 353 pictures, and 2 videos. "Well, maybe we just go backwards till we find Beyond." Matt suggested.

Near went back one picture, and it was all of them in the hotel room, it was exactly as it looked now, no Beyond though. The first ten pictures were them dancing or something, it was really embarrassing. All three boys had a red blush across their faces, Mello was in the lime green bikini he woke up in, they were doing synchronized arm movements, like they were dancing to a certain song. "Oh, look, a video." Matt said, pressing play.

"Oh my God!" A squeaky voice was heard from the camera, they seemed to be in the hotel room in this video. "You guys are sooooo funny! I can't believe you're actually going to do it!"

"… Is that voice the blonde girl from this morning?" Mello asked angrily. His question was soon answered, as the camera turned and you got a glimpse of her face. "Bitch." Mello scowled, crossing his arms. Another thing about Mello, he gets extremely jealous, but you probably already knew that.

"Okay!" The voice squealed. "One second, I just have to press play!"

The camera turned to four (extremely intoxicated) boys. Beyond, Matt, Mello, and Near were all standing beside each other, laughing hysterically. Soon what sounded like music was heard. "Boom clap, boom de clap de clap, boom boom clap boom de clap de clap!" A girls voice sang. Soon, the four boys were (attempting) dancing in sync, stomping their feet and clapping their hands uncontrollably. "Try with me, here we go!" The music continued. "One, two, three come on everybody off your seat! I'm going to tell you about a beat that'll make you move your feet!" All of a sudden, the boys began getting more into the dance. Mello almost fell over, but he fell into Matt who just supported him, and the two swayed weirdly. "I'll get the barbeque show and tell you how to move, if you're five or eighty two, this is something you can do!" The boys continued to dance. "Pop it lock it polka dot it! Country fly, and hip hop it!" Near was doing some weird fist pump dance, and swaying wildly to the song. "Put your hawk in the sky, move side to side, now jump to the left, stick it, glide!" Beyond never even got past the hawk in the sky, he continued doing that one move, over and over, faster and faster. Then Matt tripped, which brought down Mello, and Beyond down with them. Near, who continued to dance his heart out, eventually tripped, and joined the others on the ground.

The squeaky blonde continued to squeal. "Oh my God! You guys are sooooo funny!" She laughed hysterically, then the video soon cut out.

"…" The three boys sat there in silence. "…"

Mello, however, eventually broke it. "WHERE THE FUCK DID WE LEAN THE HOE DOWN THROW DOWN!" He asked, confused.

"Fuck if I know…" Matt squinted one eye. "Near, where did _you_ learn the hoe down throw down?" The blonde and red head looked at Near, who didn't answer, he just slumped, then fell down.

"Near…" Matt looked at the crumpled body, after a few seconds of Near not answering, Mello decided it would be a good idea to lightly kick the boy. Still, no reaction.

"Hmm…" Matt turned the attention back to the camera. "Let's just look trough these last few pictures, I mean, Beyond did do… _that _with us, so we couldn't have left him too far off."

They skimmed through the pictures, "Well, he's in the one right after the video." Mello pointed out, "But he isn't in any of the rest."

"Wait…" Matt stopped on one specific picture of the three boys, and the annoying blonde laughing at some black thing out the window. "What's this b;ack thing?"

At this Near pretty much snapped up, and grabbed the camera. "HOLY FUCK!" yelled, then ran to a window, opening it and sticking his head out of it. He the, pulled his head back in, and ran to the next window. "Ah!" The other two heard him yell.

"What is it?" Matt asked, running towards the boy, Mello not too far behind.

"Beyond!" Near yelled, looking at the shivering ravenette, who was leaning back against a gargoil for support.

"Y-Y-Youuu g-g-g-guys -cking DEAD!" He yelled to the boys, who by now had all their heads stuck out the window.

"OH MY GOD!" Mello yelled, "Are you okay?"

"B-b-b-bite me!" He spat.

"Okay, okay, oh my God I'm so sorry!" Matt pleaded, "T-take my hand!"

Beyond struck out a shaky hand, "OWE FUCK!" He pulled back.

"What?" Matt asked.

"It b-b-b-urns." Beyond shook.

"Wait… why… Wait… Mello, what was the temperature today?" Matt went back and forth.

"Umm, well…. It _was _pretty hot… I… I guess." Mello replied, scratching his neck nervously.

"Fuck… Well, we got a sunburnt, hypothermiac… How do we handle this?" Matt questioned, looking at the other two for moral support.

"Fuck if I know." Mello slumped.

"Well, Let's warm him up, and put lotion or something on his burns." Near suggested.

After about 20 minutes of excrtuiatingly slow movement on Beyonds part, he was FINALLY inside the hotel room.

* * *

><p>Last chapter next :D ... I hope the turtles don't go extinct D:<p> 


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